Let me set this for you... Here at work, in the front area is about 60'x60', housing 1 large conference room, 8 cubicles & 2 rooms. One room houses supplies and the other, printers & the main hub. The receptionist’s desk is about 12’ from the 1st set of cubicles. There are 2 people in this area... One is a customer service rep (the girl this is about) and the receptionist.
Then there is a very long hallway, that holds 5 offices ( 2 on 1 side and 3 on the other, I am on the side with 3 in the middle, so I have no one on either side of me, which I happen to like!), one houses another CSR (clearly higher up than the halfwit!), one houses my boss and one houses me, I am closest to the end of the hall, so I really don't hear much of anything that goes on in the front (unless they are yelling), or in the company where gossip or bitching is concerned, I loathe the shit so I stay the fuck out of it, hence the headphones!
Yes- they could be talking about me, but really, do I give a shit? Nope, not a bit! When they grow balls and say it to me, then we’ll talk, until then it’s all just petty bitch drama!
Anyway-
This Cubical CSR chick I work with, who is all of 22 years old, and I must say, the list of oddities that this child has, is comical at best.
However, they WERE all issues that I could ignore for the most part because she was FAR away from me and I could just sit in my office with my headphones in and ignore the bitch!
Well... That "comfort blanket" just got ripped from my soft, well manicured hands! They put the crazy psycho in the office right next to me!
The reason for this move you ask...? Not because she was promoted, not because she "deserves" to be in this space, not because she was so stellar at her job she earned it, or even that she sucked dick to get it! Oh no?!
It was to break up the monotonous psychobabble that was exchanged between her and the equally irritating receptionist, on a daily basis!
There were so many hours wasted between these two on pure bullshit! About things like, (95% of which was on the part of "Old Blue”. What I call the one who just moved next to me, you'll soon see why) Diaphragms (insertion and removal), Blue dildos (Old Blue) that stick to the wall, “which make fucking all the more convenient”! Shitty husbands (who I might add, is so gay I'm sure he's found the blue dildo and refuses to tell her, but is VERY Mormon so "can't" come out just yet"), 1st thing in the morning she YELLS "Hello", or as you’re walking out the door to go home it’s "Goodbye forever", it’s the way she says it... Like a toothless country-bumpkin who sat on Uncle Joe's lap way too often!
It was to the point that if I ever called her by her real name people would look at me like “who the fuck are you talking about?” So, the only way my kids, friends and family would know who I was talking about was for me to say "Hello!" the way she says it, then they would say, “Oh the Velociraptor!”, Yep, that’s her! Lol
She is a beautiful girl with some pretty low self-esteem, but one would never guess from the fact that she wears these outfits that show the garments, bra and T-back, (which I thought was a no-no in being a Moron?? Moron = Mormon but I guess she is like all the other Morons, and lives up to which part of the religion appeases her) or will walk right up to you, lift up her shirt and say “does it look like I have lost weight?” (She is thin!), brings her blue dildo in my office, slaps it onto MY wall and proceed to give me a live show (with clothes on) of how she is “going to go home and fuck this thing so good!”?????!!!! OMG!!!!
She does this thing… I don’t even get it to be honest… But every picture she has ever been in with me, or I have taken of her, or every time she pops into my office she does this Velociraptor impression that creep’s me the fuck out! She seriously looks like a fucking Velociraptor! The hands, the body, face the NOISE… ALL OF IT! So now, I have a crazy Velociraptor in the office next to me and now I feel like prey and I am waiting for her to chew through the wall and devour me, all while saying “Goodbye Forever”! FML!
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